Losing my sons thrust me into a maze of despair, a place where every path circled back to loss. The “would have, could have, should have, what-ifs and whys were constant in my head. A continuing reminder of my grief. These problems were all I could see, think, or feel.

My path to healing was elusive and left me lost in my pain and grief. I could not see any future without my sons. Lost in the maze of loss, negative thinking prevented my path to healing. It kept me in the past, constantly grieving, and sure there was no future for me.

I stumbled upon some exercises to help alter negative thoughts called cognitive restructuring. I began replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts. I also practiced making a list of gratitude, which I admit was hard, but with one thing a day, I started to realize that good could be found in my life despite the losses. People suggested journaling, but I was not able to do that. Looking back, I wished I had written down everything that happened at the time it happened, because there were so many things that I forgot. Journaling serves as a documentation of thoughts and feelings at that immediate time and place. Each entry can be a step forward in the healing journey.

With Warm Regards,

Dr. KD Wagner